Closeted - meaning and definition
Alsoin the closetclosetcloseted gaynot out
Definition
Describes someone who has not shared their sexual orientation or gender identity with others, or only with a few people.
At a glance
- Describes not having shared one's orientation or gender identity, or only with a few people.
- Often a way of staying safe from discrimination, rejection or legal risk.
- Keeping part of oneself hidden can be stressful.
- Describing someone as closeted is not a judgement.
- Respecting a person's privacy is part of respecting them.
In detail
Being in the closet can be a way of staying safe from discrimination, violence, family rejection or legal risk, particularly in places where LGBTQ+ people are persecuted. It can also bring stress from keeping part of oneself hidden.
Describing someone as closeted is not a judgement. Everyone moves at their own pace, and respecting a person's privacy is part of respecting them.
In a sentence
- He was closeted at work for years because he wasn't sure how his manager would react.
- Some of my friends are still in the closet with their families, so I'm careful what I post.
Where the word comes from
From the phrase in the closet, linked to the older idiom a skeleton in the closet for a hidden secret. It became common in LGBTQ+ usage from around the 1960s and 1970s.
Not to be confused with
- Discreet
"Discreet" in a dating profile is about privacy of an arrangement, which may or may not relate to being closeted.
Common questions
Is it wrong to stay in the closet?
No. People stay closeted for many reasons, including safety, family, culture, work or law. Each person decides for themselves when, whether and to whom to come out.
How can I support a closeted friend?
Keep what they share private, follow their lead on names and words, and let them know you are there for them without pushing them to come out.