Codependency - meaning and definition
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Definition
Codependency is a popular term for a relationship pattern in which one person organises their sense of worth around caring for, pleasing or rescuing another, often at their own expense.
At a glance
- Codependency describes organising one's sense of worth around caring for, pleasing or rescuing another person.
- The term began among families of people with alcohol or drug problems.
- It is not a formal diagnosis in the DSM or ICD.
- Researchers have criticised it as loosely defined and for framing caring as a disorder.
In detail
The word emerged in the 1970s and 1980s among people supporting family members with alcohol or drug problems. It described partners who became so focused on managing someone else's addiction that their own needs disappeared. Self-help books later broadened it to many kinds of relationships.
Codependency is not a formal diagnosis in the DSM or ICD, and researchers have criticised it for being loosely defined and for framing caring as a disorder. Still, many people find it a useful word for patterns such as difficulty saying no, feeling responsible for a partner's moods, or losing touch with their own preferences.
In a sentence
- I realised I was codependent when I couldn't relax until I knew he was in a good mood.
- The support group talked about codependency and learning to have needs of your own.
Where the word comes from
The word emerged in the late 1970s and 1980s in addiction treatment and support settings, describing partners and relatives of people with substance problems. Self-help books such as Melody Beattie's Codependent No More (1986) widened its use.
Not to be confused with
- Interdependence
Interdependence is healthy mutual reliance in which both people keep their own identity and needs.
Common questions
Is codependency a mental health diagnosis?
No. It does not appear in the DSM or ICD. It is a popular term that many people find useful for describing patterns such as difficulty saying no or feeling responsible for others' moods.
What are signs of codependency?
Commonly described signs include putting a partner's needs first so consistently that one's own disappear, difficulty saying no, feeling responsible for another person's feelings and losing touch with one's own preferences. A counsellor can help people explore these patterns.