Psychology of intimacy

Companionate love

Alsocompanionshipcompanionate relationshipmature love

Definition

Companionate love is deep affection and commitment grounded in friendship, trust and shared life, rather than intense longing.

At a glance

  • Companionate love is deep affection grounded in friendship, trust and shared life.
  • In Sternberg's model it combines intimacy and commitment, even when passion is lower.
  • Research links it strongly with relationship satisfaction and stability.
  • It describes love between long-term partners, close friends and family members.

In detail

Companionate love is the kind of love many long-term partners, close friends and family members describe: warm, dependable and comfortable. In Sternberg's model it combines intimacy and commitment, even when passion is lower.

Research on long relationships suggests companionate love is strongly linked to satisfaction and stability. It is sometimes treated as a lesser form of love, but many people see it as the foundation that makes a relationship feel like home.

In a sentence

  • After twenty years together, what we have is companionate love, and honestly it feels like home.
  • The book argues that companionate love is not second best to passion.

Where the word comes from

Elaine Hatfield and Ellen Berscheid used the term in the 1970s to contrast steady, affectionate love with passionate love.

Not to be confused with

  • Passionate love

    Passionate love is the intense, energetic longing typical of early romance.

Common questions

Is companionate love a sign that a relationship is in trouble?

Not usually. A shift from intense passion toward companionate love is a common part of long relationships, and companionate love is linked with satisfaction and stability. Many couples also keep or renew elements of passion alongside it.

Related terms

Sources

  1. Psychological ReviewSternberg (1986) A triangular theory of love