Psychology of intimacy

Triangular theory of love

AlsoSternberg's triangle of loveSternberg's theory of lovelove triangle theorySternberg triangular theory

Definition

The triangular theory of love, proposed by psychologist Robert Sternberg in 1986, describes love as a combination of three components: intimacy, passion and commitment.

At a glance

  • The theory describes love as a mix of intimacy, passion and commitment.
  • Different combinations produce different kinds of love, such as romantic or companionate love.
  • Consummate love is the name for a relationship where all three components are present.
  • It is a descriptive framework, not a test, and the balance often changes over a relationship.

In detail

Sternberg suggested that different mixes of the three components produce different kinds of love. Intimacy alone is liking, passion alone is infatuation, and commitment alone is empty love. Combinations include romantic love (intimacy and passion), companionate love (intimacy and commitment) and consummate love, where all three are present.

The model is popular because it gives people a shared language for what a relationship has and what might be missing. It is a descriptive framework rather than a test, and the balance of the three parts often changes naturally over the life of a relationship.

In a sentence

  • Using the triangular theory of love, we realised we had plenty of commitment but needed more intimacy.
  • Our psychology class mapped famous film couples onto the triangular theory of love.

Where the word comes from

Psychologist Robert Sternberg proposed the theory in a 1986 article in Psychological Review.

Not to be confused with

  • Throuple

    A throuple is a relationship between three people; the triangle in Sternberg's theory refers to three components of love.

Common questions

What are the three parts of the triangular theory of love?

Intimacy (closeness and connection), passion (attraction and desire) and commitment (the decision to stay together and maintain the relationship).

What is consummate love?

In Sternberg's model, consummate love is the combination of intimacy, passion and commitment. He described it as an ideal that many couples aim for, while noting that keeping all three in balance takes ongoing effort.

Related terms

Sources

  1. Psychological ReviewSternberg (1986) A triangular theory of love