What is the difference?
Passionate love vs Companionate love
Psychologists Elaine Hatfield and Ellen Berscheid distinguished passionate from companionate love in the 1970s. Passionate love is the heady longing typical of new relationships; companionate love is the warm, steady affection that often grows with time.
Passionate love
Passionate love is a state of intense longing for union with another person, combining strong emotion, physical attraction and preoccupation.
Full entryCompanionate love
Companionate love is deep affection and commitment grounded in friendship, trust and shared life, rather than intense longing.
Full entrySide by side
In short
Passionate love is the rush; companionate love is the foundation. A shift from one towards the other is normal and not a sign of failure.
What they have in common
Both are real forms of love, and many long-term couples experience both, with moments of renewed passion alongside companionate warmth.
More comparisons
- Affirmative consentvsEnthusiastic consentAffirmative consent is about getting a clear yes; enthusiastic consent goes a step further and cares whether that yes is truly wanted.
- Anxious attachmentvsAvoidant attachmentAnxious attachment leans in and needs reassurance; avoidant attachment leans out and needs space. Both people usually care deeply; they simply protect themselves in opposite ways.
- AsexualvsAromanticAsexual answers "do I feel sexual attraction?"; aromantic answers "do I feel romantic attraction?". A person can be one, both or neither.
- Bacterial vaginosisvsThrushA fishy smell points more towards BV, itching more towards thrush, but symptoms overlap, so it is worth getting them checked by a pharmacist, doctor or sexual health clinic.
Last reviewed 16 October 2026. Spotted a mistake?