Compersion - meaning and definition
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Definition
A feeling of joy at seeing a partner happy with someone else; often described as the opposite of jealousy.
At a glance
- Joy at seeing a partner happy with someone else.
- Often described as the opposite of jealousy.
- Compersion and jealousy can be felt at the same time.
- It is not a requirement for healthy non-monogamy and may grow with trust.
In detail
Compersion was coined in polyamorous communities to name a positive emotional response to a partner's other relationships. It might be warmth when a partner comes home excited from a date, or genuine happiness that they feel loved by more people.
Compersion and jealousy can exist side by side, and feeling compersion is not a requirement for healthy non-monogamy. Many people see it as something that may grow over time as trust and security build.
In a sentence
- When she came home glowing after her date, I felt real compersion.
- I don't always feel compersion, but I'm learning to notice it when it shows up.
Where the word comes from
Coined in the Kerista community in San Francisco, a group that practised closed polyamory, and later adopted by the wider polyamorous community.
Common questions
What if I never feel compersion?
That is fine. Many people in happy non-monogamous relationships feel neutral rather than joyful about a partner's other relationships. Feeling jealous at times is also normal and is a cue to talk.
Can monogamous people feel compersion?
The word comes from polyamory, but the feeling of being glad for someone's happiness with others, such as a friend's new partner or a parent's new spouse, is widely shared.