Relationships & dating

Polyamory

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Definition

The practice of, or openness to, having more than one loving, committed relationship at a time, with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.

At a glance

  • Several loving relationships at the same time, with everyone informed and in agreement.
  • The focus is on emotional bonds, not only on sexual openness.
  • Structures vary: hierarchical, non-hierarchical, solo, or close-knit polycules.
  • Honesty and communication are treated as core skills, not optional extras.

In detail

Polyamory comes from the Greek for "many" and the Latin for "love". Unlike some forms of non-monogamy that focus mainly on sexual openness, polyamory usually emphasises emotional bonds: people may have several partners they care about, spend time with and plan a future with.

Polyamorous networks take many shapes. Some people have a nesting partner and other partners, some avoid ranking relationships entirely, and some live in groups of three or more. Common values include honesty, communication and respect for each partner's autonomy. Challenges such as jealousy and time management are openly discussed in poly communities rather than treated as taboo.

In a sentence

  • I'm polyamorous, so I'm happy for you to meet my other partner whenever you like.
  • We've been poly for five years and still schedule a weekly check-in.

Where the word comes from

A hybrid of the Greek poly (many) and the Latin amor (love). It came into wider use in the early 1990s, when community writers needed a word for openly loving more than one person.

Not to be confused with

  • Polygamy

    Polygamy is marriage to multiple spouses, usually within a specific legal or religious tradition, and is often one-sided.

  • Swinging

    Swinging typically focuses on recreational sexual activity with others, while polyamory centres on multiple loving relationships.

Common questions

Is polyamory the same as cheating?

No. Cheating breaks an agreement and depends on secrecy. Polyamory depends on everyone knowing about the other relationships and agreeing to the structure.

Is polyamory the same as an open relationship?

Not quite. An open relationship usually means a couple that allows outside sexual or casual connections. Polyamory usually means more than one ongoing, loving relationship. Some people use both words, and the details always depend on what the people involved have agreed.

How do polyamorous people deal with jealousy?

Jealousy still happens. Many people treat it as a signal to talk about: what need is not being met, what reassurance would help, or whether an agreement needs to change.

Related terms