Relationships & dating

Ethical non-monogamy

AlsoENMCNMconsensual non-monogamyethically non-monogamousconsensually non-monogamousethical nonmonogamyconsensual nonmonogamy

Definition

Any relationship style in which people have more than one romantic or sexual partner with the knowledge and agreement of everyone involved.

At a glance

  • An umbrella term for relationships with more than one partner, by agreement.
  • Includes open relationships, polyamory, swinging and relationship anarchy.
  • The defining feature is informed consent from everyone involved.
  • Researchers often say consensual non-monogamy (CNM) instead.

In detail

Ethical non-monogamy, often shortened to ENM, is an umbrella for open relationships, polyamory, swinging, relationship anarchy and similar arrangements. The defining feature is informed consent: partners know that others exist and have agreed to the structure. Researchers often prefer the term consensual non-monogamy (CNM) because it describes the agreement without implying that other styles are unethical.

On dating apps, "ENM" in a profile usually signals that the person already has a partner or is open to several connections. It is good practice to ask what their particular arrangement looks like, because ENM relationships range from very loosely structured to highly negotiated.

In a sentence

  • My profile says ENM because I already have a partner and we are both open to dating.
  • Before we go further, can you tell me what ENM looks like for you?

Where the word comes from

The phrase spread in the 2000s to separate openly agreed non-monogamy from infidelity. The shorter ENM became common on dating apps in the late 2010s.

Not to be confused with

  • Polygamy

    Polygamy refers to marriage to more than one spouse, often within a religious or legal framework.

Common questions

What does ENM mean on a dating profile?

Usually that the person has a partner, or is open to several connections, and that everyone involved knows. Ask what their arrangement looks like, because it varies a lot.

Why do some people prefer CNM?

Consensual non-monogamy describes the agreement without implying that monogamy, or any other style, is unethical.

Related terms