Relationship anarchy - meaning and definition
Alsorelationship anarchistrelationship anarchism
Definition
An approach to relationships that rejects fixed hierarchies and default rules, letting each connection be shaped by the people in it.
At a glance
- Rejects fixed rankings between romantic partners, friends and others.
- Each connection is shaped by the people in it rather than by default rules.
- Values autonomy, consent and communication over labels.
- Relationship anarchists can still make deep, lasting commitments, chosen deliberately.
In detail
Relationship anarchy questions the idea that romantic partners should automatically rank above friends, or that relationships must follow a set path. A relationship anarchist may decide with each person what their bond includes, whether that is living together, romance, sex, or none of these.
The approach values autonomy, consent and communication over labels. It is not the same as having no commitments; many relationship anarchists make deep, lasting commitments, but they choose them deliberately rather than inheriting them from social norms.
In a sentence
- As a relationship anarchist, I don't rank my partner above my best friend.
- We practise relationship anarchy, so we decide together what our bond includes.
Where the word comes from
The term is usually traced to a 2006 essay by Swedish writer Andie Nordgren, which set out its principles. It spread internationally through online non-monogamy communities.
Not to be confused with
- Hierarchical polyamory
Hierarchical polyamory ranks partners, which relationship anarchy explicitly avoids.
Common questions
Does relationship anarchy mean having no commitments?
No. It means commitments are chosen with each person rather than inherited from social norms. Relationship anarchists may live together, raise children or make lifelong promises.
Is relationship anarchy the same as polyamory?
They overlap, but they are not the same. Relationship anarchy is a philosophy about how all relationships are shaped, including friendships. A relationship anarchist may or may not have several romantic partners.