Heart Lexicon

Emotional affair - meaning and definition

Alsoemotional cheatingemotional infidelityaffair of the heartemotional cheater

Definition

A close, secretive emotional bond with someone outside a relationship that crosses the partners' agreed boundaries, even without physical contact.

At a glance

  • A close, secretive emotional bond outside a relationship.
  • It crosses agreed boundaries even without physical contact.
  • Secrecy and diverted emotional energy distinguish it from friendship.
  • Some people find it more hurtful than a physical affair.
  • Talking about expectations around close friendships helps avoid misunderstandings.

In detail

Signs often discussed include sharing intimate thoughts with the other person more than with one's partner, hiding conversations and feeling a romantic charge. The secrecy and diversion of emotional energy are what distinguish it from ordinary friendship.

People differ in how seriously they view emotional affairs; for some, they feel more hurtful than a physical one. Talking about expectations around close friendships can help couples avoid misunderstandings.

In a sentence

  • I didn't think texting my colleague every night was a big deal until my partner called it an emotional affair.
  • Our counsellor asked us to talk about where friendship ends and an emotional affair begins.

Not to be confused with

Common questions

What are signs of an emotional affair?

Commonly mentioned signs include confiding in someone else more than in your partner, hiding or deleting conversations, and feeling a romantic charge. Secrecy is usually the key marker.

Is an emotional affair cheating?

It depends on the couple's agreements, but many people experience it as a breach of trust. Talking openly about expectations is the best way to know where each partner stands.

Related terms