Emotional availability - meaning and definition
Alsoemotionally availableemotionally unavailableemotional unavailability
Definition
Emotional availability is the capacity and willingness to engage with feelings, both one's own and a partner's, and to be present in a relationship.
At a glance
- Emotional availability is the capacity and willingness to engage with feelings and be present.
- The term originally came from research on sensitive, responsive caregiving between parents and infants.
- In dating language, emotionally unavailable people keep partners at a distance.
- People can be temporarily unavailable because of grief, stress or a recent breakup.
In detail
The term originally came from developmental research on parents and infants, where it described sensitive, responsive caregiving. In dating language, someone emotionally available is ready to invest in a relationship, while someone emotionally unavailable keeps partners at a distance.
People can be temporarily unavailable because of grief, stress, a recent breakup or other priorities, and that is not a moral failing. Being honest about availability is kinder than sending mixed signals, which is why many profiles now say directly what someone can offer.
In a sentence
- Honestly, I'm not emotionally available right now; I've just come out of a long relationship.
- I kept falling for emotionally unavailable people until I noticed the pattern.
Where the word comes from
The concept was developed in developmental research on parent and infant relationships in the 1980s and later moved into everyday dating language.
Common questions
What are signs someone is emotionally unavailable?
Commonly described signs include avoiding conversations about feelings or the future, keeping plans vague, sending mixed signals and pulling back when things become closer. Being unavailable is not a moral failing, but being honest about it is kinder to others.