Commitment phobia - meaning and definition
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Definition
An informal term for a strong, persistent fear or avoidance of long-term romantic commitment.
At a glance
- Describes a strong fear or avoidance of long-term commitment.
- Not a formal medical diagnosis.
- Often linked to avoidant attachment or past hurt.
- Differs from simply not wanting a relationship.
- Therapy can help people understand and work through it.
In detail
Someone described as commitment-phobic may enjoy dating but pull away when a relationship becomes serious, avoid labels, or feel trapped by future plans. It is not a formal diagnosis, and the reasons behind it vary widely.
Possible roots include avoidant attachment, past hurt, a fear of losing independence, or anxiety about making the wrong choice. Not wanting a committed relationship is a valid choice in itself; the term usually describes a conflict between wanting closeness and fearing it.
In a sentence
- I think I have a bit of commitment phobia, I panic whenever someone mentions moving in.
- He is not a bad person, he just has real commitment issues to work through.
Common questions
Is commitment phobia a real condition?
It is not a clinical diagnosis, but the pattern it describes is real for many people. A therapist can help explore what drives it, such as attachment history or anxiety.
Can someone with commitment issues change?
Yes, if they want to. Understanding the fear, talking openly with partners and working with a therapist can all help.