Fear of intimacy - meaning and definition
Alsointimacy avoidanceintimacy issuesfear of closeness
Definition
Anxiety about becoming emotionally or physically close to another person, which can lead someone to keep partners at a distance.
At a glance
- Anxiety about emotional or physical closeness.
- Can lead to pulling away when relationships deepen.
- Not a formal diagnosis, but a common pattern.
- Often linked to past hurt or insecure attachment.
- Small, gradual steps of vulnerability can help.
In detail
A person with a fear of intimacy may want connection yet pull back when things get close, avoid deep conversations, sabotage relationships, or keep many people at arm's length. It is not a formal diagnosis but a widely used way to describe this pattern.
It can grow out of earlier experiences of rejection, loss or trauma, or out of insecure attachment. Building trust gradually, practising small steps of vulnerability and working with a therapist are common ways to address it.
In a sentence
- I realised my fear of intimacy was why I always ended things after three months.
- Working on my fear of intimacy in therapy made it easier to open up.
Common questions
What is the difference between fear of intimacy and avoidant attachment?
Avoidant attachment is one theory-based pattern that can produce a fear of intimacy. Fear of intimacy is a broader description of the experience and can have other roots too.
Can fear of intimacy be overcome?
Many people make real progress, especially with a supportive partner and help from a therapist.