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Gay

Alsogaynessgay people

Definition

Describes a person attracted to people of the same gender. It is most often used by men, but many women and non-binary people also call themselves gay.

At a glance

  • The most widely used everyday word for same-gender attraction.
  • Most often used by men, but also by many women and non-binary people.
  • Also works as a broad umbrella for the wider LGBTQ+ community.
  • Using gay as a general insult is widely recognised as hurtful.

In detail

Gay is the most widely used everyday word for same-gender attraction. It is often used specifically for men who are attracted to men, while "lesbian" is common for women, but "gay" also works as a broad umbrella for the wider community.

Using "gay" as a general insult, as in "that's so gay", is widely recognised as hurtful because it treats an identity as something bad. As an identity, it is positive and self-chosen.

In a sentence

  • He came out as gay to his family last year, and they threw him a small party.
  • My aunt is gay and has been with her wife for twenty years.

Where the word comes from

Gay originally meant cheerful or carefree in English. Over the twentieth century it came to refer to same-gender attraction, and from the 1960s and 1970s it was widely adopted by gay liberation movements as a positive self-description.

Not to be confused with

Common questions

Can women call themselves gay?

Yes. Many women and non-binary people use gay, either alone or alongside lesbian or queer. The choice of word belongs to the person.

Why is saying that's so gay hurtful?

It uses an identity as shorthand for something bad or silly, which tells gay people that who they are is an insult. Many schools and workplaces treat it as a form of homophobic language.

Related terms