Misgendering - meaning and definition
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Definition
Referring to someone with words, such as pronouns or gendered terms, that do not match their gender.
At a glance
- Misgendering is referring to someone with words that do not match their gender.
- It can be an accidental slip or deliberate.
- For an accidental slip, a brief correction and moving on is usual etiquette.
- Repeated or intentional misgendering is widely felt as disrespectful and hurtful.
- In some workplaces and places it can count as harassment.
In detail
Misgendering can be accidental, such as a slip of the tongue or a wrong guess from appearance, or deliberate. Accidental misgendering is common while people are adjusting; the usual etiquette is a brief correction and moving on, without long apologies that put the other person on the spot.
Repeated or intentional misgendering is widely experienced as disrespectful and hurtful, and in some workplaces and jurisdictions it can amount to harassment.
In a sentence
- I misgendered my colleague by mistake, so I corrected myself and carried on.
- Being misgendered on the phone happens to me almost every week.
Not to be confused with
- Deadnaming
Deadnaming uses a former name; misgendering uses the wrong gendered words or pronouns.
Common questions
What should I do if I misgender someone?
Correct yourself quickly, for example: he, sorry, she, and continue. Avoid long apologies, which can put the other person on the spot. Then try to get it right in future.
Why does misgendering hurt?
It can feel like a denial of who someone is, and repeated misgendering can be exhausting. It can also reveal someone's trans history to others without their consent.