What should I do if I misgender someone?

Misgendering means referring to someone with words, such as pronouns or gendered terms, that do not match their gender. Most people do it by accident at some point, especially soon after someone shares new pronouns or a new name.

The most helpful response is short: She said, sorry, they said they would be late. A big apology in front of others can make the person feel more exposed and leave them comforting you. If you only notice later, a brief private apology is enough.

Practise when the person is not there, for example by talking about them to yourself or a supportive friend using the right pronouns and name. Habits change with repetition, and the effort itself shows respect.

Using an old name, known as deadnaming, is a related mistake that can feel especially painful. Treat it the same way: correct, move on, practise.

If someone else misgenders a person, a light correction often works: You mean they, right? But check with the person what they would like, because some prefer to handle it themselves or are not out in every setting.

Repeated, deliberate misgendering after being corrected is different from an honest slip. It is widely seen as disrespectful and in some workplaces and schools can breach policies on harassment.