Soft limits - meaning and definition
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Definition
Activities someone is hesitant about or would only try under specific conditions, as opposed to a firm refusal.
At a glance
- A soft limit is something a person is hesitant about or would only try under certain conditions.
- Conditions might include a long-term partner or a low intensity.
- Discussing the conditions openly is part of negotiation.
- A soft limit is not an invitation to push.
- A soft limit can become a hard limit at any time.
In detail
A soft limit might be something a person is curious about but nervous of, would only try with a long-term partner, or would try at a low intensity first. Discussing the conditions openly is part of negotiation.
A soft limit is not an invitation to push. Exploring one is done slowly, with extra check-ins, and with the understanding that it can become a hard limit at any time.
In a sentence
- It's a soft limit, so maybe one day, but only slowly and with lots of check-ins.
- I moved that from a soft limit to a hard limit, and my partner just said thanks for telling me.
Not to be confused with
- Hard limits
Hard limits are firm refusals that are never explored.
Common questions
Can my partner try to talk me out of a soft limit?
No. A soft limit means hesitation, not a hidden yes. Any exploration happens only if and when you choose, slowly and with extra check-ins.