Consent & boundaries

Stalking

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Definition

Stalking is a pattern of repeated, unwanted attention or contact that causes fear, alarm or distress, such as following, monitoring, messaging or turning up uninvited.

At a glance

  • A pattern of repeated, unwanted attention or contact that causes fear or distress.
  • It happens in person and online.
  • It is often carried out by a former partner, but acquaintances and strangers also stalk.
  • It is a crime in many countries and can escalate.
  • Keeping a log and saving evidence can help.

In detail

Stalking can happen in person or online and is often carried out by a former partner, although acquaintances and strangers also stalk. Behaviours include repeated calls and messages, tracking someone's location, contacting their friends or employer, and leaving gifts or notes.

Stalking is a crime in many countries and can escalate. Keeping a log of incidents, saving evidence, reviewing phone and account security, and contacting specialist stalking services or the police can all help.

In a sentence

  • Turning up at her work again and again after she said no is stalking.
  • The stalking advice service suggested keeping a diary of every incident.

Where the word comes from

From the verb "stalk", an old English word for following or approaching quietly, as in hunting. Its use for the crime of persistent harassment spread from the late 1980s and 1990s.

Not to be confused with

  • Orbiting

    Orbiting is a dating behaviour of passively watching someone's social media after ending contact; stalking is a sustained pattern that causes fear.

Common questions

What counts as stalking?

Repeated, unwanted contact or attention that causes fear or distress, such as following someone, repeated calls and messages, tracking their location, contacting their friends or employer, or turning up uninvited.

What should I do if I think I am being stalked?

Keep a log of incidents, save messages and other evidence, review the security of your phone and accounts, and contact a specialist stalking service or the police. If you are in danger, call your local emergency number.

Related terms

Sources

  1. Suzy Lamplugh TrustWhat is stalking?