Top and bottom - meaning and definition
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Definition
In kink, the 'top' carries out an activity and the 'bottom' receives it; the terms describe roles in a scene rather than who holds power.
At a glance
- In kink, the top carries out an activity and the bottom receives it.
- Top and bottom describe who does what, not who holds power.
- A submissive can top on instruction, and a dominant can choose to bottom.
- 'Topping from the bottom' describes a bottom who steers a scene heavily.
- Among gay and bisexual men, top, bottom, vers and side describe preferences in sexual roles.
In detail
Top and bottom are practical words for who does what. A top might tie, lead or apply a sensation; a bottom is the person experiencing it. This is separate from dominance: a submissive can top on instruction, and a dominant can choose to bottom. 'Topping from the bottom' is a phrase for a bottom who steers the scene heavily, which can be a source of friction or simply a negotiated style.
Outside kink, especially among gay and bisexual men, top, bottom, vers and side describe preferences in sexual roles. Context usually makes the meaning clear, and in either use the words describe preferences to be discussed, not obligations.
In a sentence
- For this scene I'll top, but we agreed you're still the one calling the shots.
- His profile says vers, which means he's open to either role.
Not to be confused with
- Vers
'Vers' is dating-app shorthand for versatile, meaning someone open to either role.
Common questions
Is a top the same as a dominant?
Not necessarily. Top and bottom describe who carries out or receives an activity, while dominant and submissive describe who holds control. The roles often go together but can be separated.
What does 'topping from the bottom' mean?
It describes a bottom who directs the scene heavily, for example by giving lots of instructions. Some partners find it frustrating, while others negotiate it as a style they both enjoy.