Benching - meaning and definition
Alsobenchedbackburner relationship
Definition
Keeping someone as a backup option by staying in light contact while prioritising other people.
At a glance
- Keeping someone as a backup while prioritising others.
- The benched person gets just enough attention to stay interested.
- Plans rarely turn into real dates.
- It overlaps with breadcrumbing and keeping a dating roster.
In detail
The term comes from sport, where a player sits on the bench until needed. A person who is benched receives just enough attention to stay interested, but plans rarely materialise.
Benching overlaps with breadcrumbing and with keeping a dating roster. Clear, honest communication about interest levels is the usual antidote.
In a sentence
- She only messages me when her other plans fall through. I'm being benched.
- I don't want to bench anyone, so I told him I'm seeing someone else.
Where the word comes from
From sport, where a player sits on the bench until needed. It joined dating slang in the mid 2010s, alongside ghosting and breadcrumbing.
Common questions
How do you know if you are being benched?
Typical signs are irregular contact, vague plans that keep moving and messages that arrive when the other person is free rather than as part of a real effort to see you. Asking directly usually brings clarity.