Dating-app slang & abbreviations

Boysober

Alsoboy soberboy-soberman soberdating detoxcelibacy break

Definition

Taking a deliberate break from dating, hookups and romantic relationships with men for a set period, to focus on yourself.

At a glance

  • A planned break from dating, sex and relationships with men.
  • Usually lasts for a set time, such as months or a year.
  • Often a response to dating burnout or repeating patterns.
  • Time is put into self, friends and other interests.
  • Similar to a dating detox; a personal choice, not a rule for others.

In detail

Being boysober usually means stepping away from dating apps, flirting, sex and relationships with men for a chosen stretch of time, often several months or a year. People describe it as a way to rest after dating burnout, break unhelpful patterns, and put energy into friendships, work, creativity and their own wellbeing.

The idea is similar to a dating detox and is not limited to women or to any orientation, although the name refers to men. It is a personal choice, not a statement about what anyone else should do, and many people return to dating afterwards with clearer priorities.

In a sentence

  • I'm boysober until summer, so no apps and no situationships.
  • Going boysober for a year helped me figure out what I actually want.

Where the word comes from

Popularised on TikTok in early 2024 by a US comedian who announced a year off dating men; the term then spread widely in media coverage.

Not to be confused with

  • Sober-curious

    Sober curious is about alcohol; boysober borrows the word sober to describe a break from dating.

  • Abstinence

    Abstinence refers to not having sex, often as contraception; boysober is a wider break from dating.

Common questions

Is boysober the same as celibacy?

It often includes not having sex, but it is wider than that: it also means no dating, flirting or relationships for a while. Celibacy usually refers to sex only, and may be long term or for religious reasons.

Can anyone go boysober?

Yes. The name mentions boys, but the idea of a deliberate break from dating works for anyone. Some people use similar phrases such as dating detox.

Related terms