Fetish - meaning and definition
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Definition
A strong sexual interest focused on a particular object, material, body part or situation that is not usually thought of as sexual in itself.
At a glance
- Strictly, a fetish is an interest centred on something specific, such as a material or type of clothing.
- In everyday speech the word is often used loosely to mean any kink.
- Having a fetish is common and, between consenting adults, is part of the range of human sexuality.
- Clinical manuals only treat it as a condition if it causes significant distress or involves non-consent.
- Sharing a fetish works best as a calm conversation, without pressure on the partner to share it.
In detail
In everyday speech, 'fetish' is often used loosely to mean any kink. More precisely, it describes attraction centred on something specific, such as a material, a type of clothing or a non-genital body part. Having a fetish is common and, between consenting adults, is simply part of the range of human sexuality.
In clinical manuals, a fetish only becomes a diagnosable condition if it causes the person significant distress or impairment, or involves someone who has not consented. Sharing a fetish with a partner works best as a calm conversation about interest, comfort and limits, without pressure for the other person to share it.
In a sentence
- He told me about his fetish on our third date and said it was fine if it wasn't my thing.
- People often say fetish when they really mean kink in general.
Where the word comes from
From the Portuguese 'feitico', meaning a charm or object believed to have magical power, via French 'fetiche'. Late 19th-century psychologists borrowed the word for a sexual interest focused on a particular object.
Not to be confused with
- Paraphilia
Paraphilia is the clinical category; most fetishes do not meet the threshold for a disorder.
Common questions
What is the difference between a fetish and a kink?
Kink is the broader word for any unconventional sexual or relational interest. A fetish, in the stricter sense, is an interest centred on a specific object, material or body part. In casual speech many people use the two words interchangeably.
How do I tell a partner about a fetish?
Choose a calm, private, non-sexual moment, describe the interest plainly, explain what it means to you and make clear that your partner is free to say no. Listening to their questions and limits matters as much as sharing your own.