Relationships & dating

Monogamish

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Definition

A relationship that is mostly monogamous but has agreed, limited exceptions, such as occasional outside encounters under specific conditions.

At a glance

  • Mostly monogamous, with a few exceptions both partners have agreed.
  • The exceptions are known and negotiated, which separates it from cheating.
  • Common limits include only when travelling, only together, or only within set rules.
  • Regular check-ins and safer-sex agreements are usually seen as essential.

In detail

The word blends "monogamous" with the suffix "-ish" to signal flexibility. A monogamish couple usually sees itself as primarily committed to each other, but has negotiated certain openings, for example when travelling, together with the other partner, or within agreed limits.

What distinguishes monogamish arrangements from infidelity is that the exceptions are known and agreed by both partners. As with any form of non-monogamy, clear communication, regular check-ins and safer-sex agreements are usually considered essential.

In a sentence

  • We're monogamish: we're committed to each other, with a couple of exceptions we've agreed on.
  • Monogamish works for us because we review our rules every few months.

Where the word comes from

A blend of monogamous and the suffix -ish. It was popularised by the US advice columnist Dan Savage in the early 2010s.

Not to be confused with

  • Open relationship

    An open relationship typically allows more ongoing outside connections than a monogamish one.

Common questions

How is monogamish different from an open relationship?

The difference is mostly one of degree. A monogamish couple sees itself as primarily monogamous with occasional, limited exceptions, while an open relationship usually allows outside connections more routinely.

Related terms