Veto - meaning and definition
Alsoveto powerveto ruleveto rightpartner veto
Definition
In some non-monogamous relationships, an agreement that one partner may ask the other to end or not begin another relationship.
At a glance
- An agreement that one partner may ask the other to end or not start a relationship.
- Most common in hierarchical polyamory and newly open couples.
- Meant to give the existing relationship a sense of security.
- Widely debated because it affects a third person who has no say.
- Ethical practice usually means telling new partners in advance if a veto exists.
In detail
Veto arrangements are most common in hierarchical polyamory and open couples. They are meant to give the existing relationship a sense of security, especially when a couple is new to non-monogamy.
Veto is widely debated because it can put a third person's relationship at the mercy of someone they have no agreement with. Many people who once used veto move toward open discussion of concerns instead, and ethical practice usually involves telling new partners in advance if a veto exists.
In a sentence
- Just so you know, my partner and I have a veto agreement.
- We dropped veto and now we talk through concerns instead.
Common questions
Why do many polyamorous people dislike veto?
Because it can end a relationship without the affected partner having any voice. Many people prefer open discussion of concerns, which gives everyone a chance to be heard.