Heart Lexicon

Intermittent reinforcement - meaning and definition

Alsointermittent rewardhot and coldhot and cold behaviourpush-pull

Definition

Intermittent reinforcement is when rewards such as affection or attention arrive unpredictably, which tends to make the behaviour of seeking them unusually persistent.

At a glance

  • Intermittent reinforcement means rewards arrive unpredictably rather than every time.
  • Behaviour rewarded unpredictably is harder to stop than behaviour rewarded consistently.
  • In relationships, a partner who is sometimes warm and sometimes distant can keep someone hoping.
  • It helps explain why hot and cold dating and breadcrumbing can feel so gripping.

In detail

The principle comes from behavioural psychology, where B. F. Skinner and others found that behaviours rewarded on an unpredictable schedule are harder to extinguish than those rewarded every time. In relationships, a partner who is sometimes warm and sometimes distant can keep the other person hoping and trying.

This helps explain why hot and cold dating patterns, breadcrumbing and cycles of abuse and reconciliation can feel so gripping. Recognising the mechanism does not make the feelings disappear, but it can help people see that the intensity comes partly from the uncertainty rather than from compatibility.

In a sentence

  • Learning about intermittent reinforcement made me see why his occasional sweet texts kept me hooked.
  • Hot and cold dating works on intermittent reinforcement: you never know when the next good moment will come.

Where the word comes from

The principle comes from behavioural psychology, especially the work of B. F. Skinner and colleagues on schedules of reinforcement in the mid twentieth century.

Common questions

Why does inconsistent attention feel so addictive?

When rewards such as affection or replies arrive unpredictably, people tend to keep trying for longer than when they arrive reliably. The intensity of the feeling can come partly from the uncertainty itself rather than from how compatible two people are.

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