Love bombing - meaning and definition
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Definition
Overwhelming someone with intense affection, attention and gifts early on, often in a way that creates fast dependence or pressure.
At a glance
- Intense affection, attention and gifts very early on.
- Can be used to lower someone's guard or rush commitment.
- A warning sign is pressure to move faster than feels right.
- Healthy enthusiasm respects the other person's pace.
In detail
Love bombing can look romantic: constant messages, grand declarations and talk of the future after very little time. The concern arises when the intensity is used to lower someone's guard, rush commitment or later justify control.
Warning signs include pressure to move faster than feels comfortable, resentment when boundaries are set and a sharp switch from adoration to criticism. Genuine enthusiasm, by contrast, usually respects the other person's pace.
In a sentence
- Three dates in and he was talking about moving in together. It felt like love bombing.
- Looking back, the flowers every day were less romance and more love bombing.
Where the word comes from
The phrase was first used in the 1970s to describe how some cults welcomed new members with overwhelming affection. It moved into dating language in the 2010s.
Not to be confused with
- New relationship energy
New relationship energy is natural excitement, while love bombing involves pressure or manipulation.
Common questions
How is love bombing different from being very keen?
Enthusiasm accepts boundaries and slows down when asked. Love bombing tends to push back, sulk or switch to criticism when the other person wants space.
Is love bombing always deliberate?
Not always. Some people move fast because of their own anxieties. The pattern is still worth noticing, especially if it comes with control.