Psychology of intimacy

Loneliness

Alsofeeling lonelylonelysocial isolation

Definition

Loneliness is the painful feeling that one's social connections are fewer or less meaningful than one wants, regardless of how many people are actually around.

At a glance

  • Loneliness is the feeling that social connections are fewer or less meaningful than one wants.
  • It differs from social isolation, which is an objective lack of contact.
  • People can feel lonely in a crowd or within a relationship.
  • Long-lasting loneliness is linked to poorer physical and mental health.

In detail

Researchers such as John Cacioppo distinguished loneliness, a subjective feeling, from social isolation, an objective lack of contact. A person can feel lonely in a crowd or within a relationship, and someone who spends a lot of time alone may not feel lonely at all.

Long-lasting loneliness has been linked to poorer physical and mental health, and public health bodies increasingly treat it as a priority. Small steps such as reaching out to one person, joining a group based on an interest or talking to a GP or counsellor are commonly recommended starting points.

In a sentence

  • Even though we live together, I've been feeling a kind of loneliness in our relationship.
  • After moving cities, the loneliness hit me harder than I expected.

Not to be confused with

  • Solitude

    Solitude is chosen, often restful time alone; loneliness is an unwanted feeling of disconnection.

Common questions

Can you feel lonely in a relationship?

Yes. Loneliness is about how meaningful connections feel, not how many people are around. Many people feel lonely within a relationship when emotional closeness is missing.

What helps with loneliness?

Commonly suggested first steps include reaching out to one person, joining a group based on an interest, and volunteering. If loneliness is persistent or affecting mood, talking to a GP or counsellor can help.

Related terms

Sources

  1. NHS Every Mind MattersLoneliness