Mental load - meaning and definition
Alsocognitive labourinvisible labourcognitive loadcharge mentale
Definition
The invisible work of planning, remembering, organising and keeping track of everything a household or family needs.
At a glance
- The planning and remembering behind household tasks.
- Often invisible, even when chores seem shared.
- Frequently falls unequally between partners.
- Can cause exhaustion and resentment.
- Sharing whole tasks, not just helping, can rebalance it.
In detail
The mental load includes things like remembering birthdays, noticing that the milk is running out, booking appointments and keeping track of school events. Even when chores are shared, one partner may still be the one who notices and plans, which is tiring and often unrecognised.
Research and public debate suggest the mental load often falls more heavily on women in different-sex couples, although it can be unequal in any relationship. Making the invisible tasks visible, for example by listing them and sharing ownership, can help.
In a sentence
- He does the cooking, but I carry the mental load of planning every meal.
- We wrote down all the mental load tasks and the list was eye-opening.
Where the word comes from
The French term "charge mentale" was used by sociologists in the 1980s. A 2017 comic by the French artist Emma, "You should have asked", made the idea popular worldwide.
Common questions
What is the difference between the mental load and chores?
Chores are the doing. The mental load is the noticing, planning and remembering that tells someone a chore needs doing in the first place.
How can couples share the mental load?
Many couples find it helps to list recurring responsibilities and give each person full ownership of some of them, including the planning, rather than one person delegating.