Nonviolent communication - meaning and definition
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Definition
Nonviolent communication is an approach to speaking and listening developed by Marshall Rosenberg that focuses on observations, feelings, needs and requests rather than blame.
At a glance
- Nonviolent communication focuses on observations, feelings, needs and requests rather than blame.
- It was developed by Marshall Rosenberg, building on humanistic psychology.
- Its four steps can help when discussing boundaries and conflict.
- Critics note the format can feel formulaic if used rigidly.
In detail
Rosenberg developed the method from the 1960s onward, building on humanistic psychology. Its four steps are to describe what happened without judgement, name the feeling it brought up, identify the underlying need and make a clear, doable request.
A typical example might be: "When plans change at the last minute, I feel anxious because I need some predictability. Could we agree to check with each other first?" Critics note that the format can feel formulaic, but many people find it helpful for discussing boundaries and conflict in relationships.
In a sentence
- Using nonviolent communication, I said I felt anxious when plans changed and asked if we could check first.
- Our polycule uses NVC-style check-ins to talk about scheduling and boundaries.
Where the word comes from
Psychologist Marshall Rosenberg developed the approach from the 1960s onward and described it in his book Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life, first published around the turn of the 2000s.
Common questions
What are the four steps of nonviolent communication?
Describe what happened without judgement (observation), name the feeling it brought up, identify the underlying need, and make a clear, doable request.