Psychology of intimacy

Spontaneous desire

Alsospontaneous sexual desirespontaneous libido

Definition

Spontaneous desire is sexual interest that seems to arise on its own, before any touch or intimate situation, often prompted by thoughts or cues.

At a glance

  • Spontaneous desire seems to arise on its own, before any touch or intimate situation.
  • Early models of sexual response placed desire at the start of a linear sequence.
  • It is common at the start of relationships and often portrayed in films as the norm.
  • Most people experience both spontaneous and responsive desire at different times.

In detail

Early models of sexual response, such as those by Masters and Johnson and later Helen Singer Kaplan, placed desire at the start of a linear sequence. This spontaneous pattern is common, particularly at the start of relationships, and is often what films and popular culture portray as normal.

Research since then shows that many people experience desire more responsively, and that most people experience both types at different times. Neither pattern is better. Differences between partners' styles are a frequent reason couples feel out of sync.

In a sentence

  • He mostly has spontaneous desire, while mine is more responsive, so we've learned to plan time together.
  • Films make it look like spontaneous desire is the only kind, which isn't true.

Where the word comes from

Linear models of sexual response, such as those of Masters and Johnson in the 1960s and Helen Singer Kaplan in the 1970s, placed desire at the start of the sequence. The term spontaneous desire became common as a contrast to responsive desire.

Not to be confused with

  • Responsive desire

    Responsive desire builds after intimacy has begun rather than before it.

Common questions

Is spontaneous desire better than responsive desire?

No. Both are normal, and many people experience each at different times. Differences between partners' styles are a common reason couples feel out of sync, and understanding them can reduce pressure and blame.

Related terms

Sources

  1. Journal of Sex & Marital TherapyBasson (2000) The female sexual response: a different model