Unicorn hunter - meaning and definition
Alsounicorn huntingcouple seeking a thirdthird for a couple
Definition
A couple, often a man and a woman, looking for a single person, usually a bisexual woman, to join them. The term is frequently critical.
At a glance
- A couple seeking a single person to join them, usually a bisexual woman.
- Often used critically in polyamorous communities.
- Criticism targets expectations of equal attraction, exclusivity and pre-set rules.
- Respectful couples let connections develop and set boundaries together.
In detail
In polyamorous communities "unicorn hunting" is often used disapprovingly. It describes couples who expect a third partner to be equally attracted to both, exclusive to them, and willing to follow rules made before they arrived.
Couples can approach this respectfully: treat the new person as an individual with their own needs, let connections develop at their own pace, and make boundaries together rather than presenting them as fixed terms.
In a sentence
- Their profile said 'looking for a third, must follow our rules'. Classic unicorn hunters.
- We're trying not to be unicorn hunters, so we're dating separately and seeing what happens.
Common questions
Why is unicorn hunting criticised?
Because it often treats the third person as an add-on to the couple: expected to be attracted to both, to date only them and to accept rules made before they arrived. Many people in polyamorous communities see that as unfair.
How can a couple approach this respectfully?
Treat any new person as an individual, allow different connections with each partner, make agreements together with them, and accept that they may not want what you had imagined.