BDSM - meaning and definition
AlsoBDSM lifestyleBDSM communitybondage discipline sadism masochism
Definition
An overlapping acronym for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism: consensual practices built around restraint, power exchange or intense sensation.
At a glance
- BDSM is an overlapping acronym: bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism.
- It is a family of interests, from the psychological side of control to restraint or sensation.
- Community practice rests on informed, negotiated consent, limits, safewords and aftercare.
- Frameworks such as SSC, RACK and PRICK put these ethics into words.
- Research has not found BDSM practitioners to be less psychologically healthy than the general population.
In detail
BDSM is not one activity but a family of interests that often overlap. Some people are drawn to the psychological side, such as giving or handing over control; others to physical restraint or sensation; many to a mix. Participation ranges from light, occasional play within a relationship to organised community life with events, clubs and education.
The foundation of BDSM as practised in communities is informed, negotiated consent. Partners discuss interests and limits in advance, agree a safeword, check in during play and provide aftercare afterwards. Frameworks such as SSC, RACK and PRICK exist to put these principles into words. Research has not found BDSM practitioners to be less psychologically healthy than the general population.
In a sentence
- We read up on BDSM safety together before deciding whether it was something either of us wanted.
- The local BDSM group runs workshops on negotiation and consent for newcomers.
Where the word comes from
The combined acronym became common in the 1990s, partly through early online discussion groups, as a way of joining several older terms (B&D, D/s and S&M) under one heading.
Not to be confused with
- Intimate partner violence
Abuse is imposed without real consent and cannot be stopped by the person on the receiving end; BDSM is negotiated and can be stopped at any time.
Common questions
What do the letters in BDSM stand for?
The letters overlap: B and D stand for bondage and discipline, D and S for dominance and submission, and S and M for sadism and masochism. Most people use the word as an umbrella for all of these consensual interests.
Is BDSM a mental health problem?
No. Clinical manuals do not treat consensual BDSM between adults as a disorder. A diagnosis only comes into question when an interest causes significant distress or impairment, or involves someone who has not consented.
How do people start learning about BDSM safely?
Common routes are reputable books and educators, community munches and workshops, and long conversations with a trusted partner about interests and limits before anything happens.