Dating-app slang survival guide

Many profiles open with a short code for intentions. LTR means a long-term relationship and STR a short-term one. FWB means friends with benefits, NSA means no strings attached and ONS is a one-night stand. A hookup is a casual encounter, though what it covers varies from person to person.

These codes save space, but they are only a starting point. Two people who both write LTR can still mean different things, so it is worth asking rather than assuming.

Messages bring their own shorthand. HMU means hit me up, WYD means what are you doing, and IRL means in real life. TBH and NGL introduce an honest opinion. A late-night "u up" is widely read as an invitation, as is the joking euphemism Netflix and chill.

Sliding into someone's DMs means sending a private message to flirt. Pic for pic means swapping photos, which can be innocent or not, so context matters. Sharing intimate images should always be a clear, mutual choice: sending unsolicited explicit images is cyberflashing.

Some abbreviations go back to newspaper personal ads. GSOH means good sense of humour and WLTM means would like to meet. Older codes such as M4F or SWM describe who is writing and who they are seeking.

Others describe lifestyle. 420-friendly signals comfort with cannabis, and sober-curious describes someone choosing to drink little or no alcohol. HWP and BBW describe body types and are best read as preferences rather than rules for anyone else's body.

Dating culture has named many familiar patterns. Kittenfishing is a flattering or outdated profile. Stashing is being kept hidden from someone's friends and social media. A roster is the group of people someone is casually talking to at once. Catching feelings means developing romantic feelings for someone, often when things were meant to stay casual.

Caspering, ending things kindly with a short honest message, is the friendly alternative to ghosting. Delulu is playful slang for believing a connection is bigger than the evidence suggests, and a beige flag is a quirk that is neither good nor bad.

Some codes describe identity or community. Cishet means cisgender and heterosexual, WLW and MLM mean women loving women and men loving men, and T4T means trans for trans. On ethical non-monogamy profiles, "partnered" means the person has a partner who knows they are dating.

Health-related shorthand appears too. Poz and neg describe HIV status, often alongside words like undetectable or on PrEP. "Discreet" signals someone wants privacy, sometimes because they are not out or are in a relationship.

A few common phrases carry stigma. Using "clean" to mean having no STIs implies that people with an infection are dirty, and sexual health services suggest "tested negative" instead. DDF, drug and disease free, has the same problem and is unreliable without recent testing.

"No fats, no femmes" is an exclusionary phrase that rejects whole groups of people outright. Everyone is entitled to their own preferences, but stating them by putting others down says more about the writer than about the people excluded.