Self-disclosure - meaning and definition
Alsoopening upsharing personal information
Definition
Self-disclosure is the act of sharing personal information, thoughts or feelings with another person, and it is one of the main ways closeness develops.
At a glance
- Self-disclosure is sharing personal information, thoughts or feelings with another person.
- Social penetration theory compares getting to know someone to peeling the layers of an onion.
- Disclosure tends to be reciprocal: when one person opens up, the other often follows.
- Arthur Aron's studies found that taking turns answering personal questions increased feelings of closeness.
In detail
Social penetration theory, set out by Irwin Altman and Dalmas Taylor in 1973, compared getting to know someone to peeling the layers of an onion: people share more widely and more deeply as trust grows. Disclosure tends to be reciprocal, so when one person opens up the other often follows.
Well-known experiments by Arthur Aron and colleagues showed that strangers who took turns answering gradually more personal questions felt noticeably closer afterward. Disclosure builds intimacy best when the listener responds with understanding and when the pace feels comfortable to both people.
In a sentence
- Our counsellor said gradual self-disclosure builds trust better than telling everything on the first date.
- The 36 questions are basically a structured exercise in self-disclosure.
Where the word comes from
Psychologist Sidney Jourard popularised the study of self-disclosure in the late 1950s and 1960s. Irwin Altman and Dalmas Taylor set out social penetration theory in 1973.
Common questions
What are the 36 questions?
They come from a 1997 study by Arthur Aron and colleagues in which pairs of strangers took turns answering increasingly personal questions. Participants reported feeling noticeably closer afterward. The set became widely known online years later.
How much should you share early in dating?
There is no fixed rule. Disclosure tends to build closeness best when it is gradual, mutual and matched to the level of trust, and when the listener responds with understanding.